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Lasting Impressions

Kael recrossed his legs, griping under his breath about the lack of adequate leg room. Zafkiel shushed him and handed him a program.
"Oh goody, because I so care which little kidlets I have to watch make music," he drawled, and a lady in front of him turned around to frown at him. He smiled widely at her, and her frown deepened before she turned away.
"Must you be annoying everywhere we go?" Zafkiel gave him an irritated glance. "I just thought you might want to look at it while we waited."
"Only so long as it tells me Rafariel's on first and I can skip the rest of the evening," Kael replied agreeably, and then opened the program, ignoring Zafkiel's overly loud sigh of frustration.
He scanned the list of names, and then frowned.
"He's not even here. Maybe this is a joke he's playing to get back at us for.. something."
Zafkiel smirked. "He might want to get even with you, but the rest of us happen to get along with him just fine." He tapped the program in Kael's hands. "Look for the Japanese name."
Kael raised an eyebrow, but scanned the list again. All too soon, it jumped out at him, about halfway down the list. He scanned across -- yep, 'violin solo'.
"Rafariel's not his name?" He was honestly surprised.
"You know he's Japanese -- did you really think it was?" Zafkiel looked amused to be one up on him for a change, and Kael pursed his lips. He'd never even thought to question Rafariel's name. Both he and Zafkiel had Japanese parents and had been given non-Japanese names -- why not the kid? But then, their parents had been a bit odd, even he knew that.
"How did you know it wasn't his name?"
Zafkiel shrugged. "He told me, since I'm the one who collects the mail and all his school letters have his real name on them."
Kael hmphed, and Zafkiel smirked at him again, eyes dancing with that 'I knew something you didn't' gleeful look to them.
"At least he's not playing last," he said aloud. "Otherwise I'd die of boredom listening to the rest of this twiddle." That earned him another glare from the lady in front of him, which wiped Zafkiel's smirk clean off his face, to be replaced with an expression of exasperation. Kael smiled at the lady again, feeling better already.


A jab in his ribs jerked Kael awake, and he sat up with a start, his booted feet inadvertently kicking the chairs in front of him.
"Shhh!" hissed Zafkiel's voice from next to him, and he saw in front of him a woman shaking her head.
"Rafariel's on," Zafkiel whispered, and Kael directed his attention to the stage. He'd only come to this stupid school concert to see the boy play, after all -- it wouldn't do him much good to miss it.
Rafariel was walking out onto the stage already, and Kael stared in frank appreciation. The boy was wearing a full tuxedo with tails, tailored to fit perfectly on his slim figure. His white shirt was crisp and stark against the black, and his skin was almost as pale, fragile and beautiful under the gleaming stage lights. Every curl of his hair was perfectly styled, tied gracefully back as always in a neat ponytail.
The boy stepped up to the front of the stage, and bowed in a way that seemed inherently Japanese to Kael. He smiled to himself. No matter how far behind you left the place, some things never left you. He watched as Rafariel raised his violin into position, and then the bow hit the strings and the instrument began to sing.
Kael watched, his eyes never leaving Rafariel's face for a second. Even now, even in front of hundreds of watching eyes, Rafariel was playing for himself. The boy let himself get lost in the music, and watching the passion and majesty of it play across his face was like getting drunk on the sweetest wine Kael had ever tasted. He let the music wash over him and he watched Rafariel in the throes of his musical passion -- magnified, somehow, by the size of the auditorium and the vibrancy of the glistening lights. He could see the sweat dripping down Rafariel's face as he played, and he ached to trace the lines of it with his fingers, to see Rafariel this wild and passionate for reasons other than music.
And then, abruptly, it was over. Rafariel bowed again, sweat dripping from his face to the floor, his curls somewhat tangled now from the earnestness of his playing, and then he walked offstage as quickly and quietly as he had come. Kael took a deep breath. He felt light-headed.
"Well?" whispered Zafkiel over the applause, sounding absurdly proud. Kael smiled, and shook his head.
"Well, I've seen what I came to see." Kael got to his feet and clambered his way out of the row, ignoring the mutterings and grumblings from the people around him, up to and including Zafkiel.
He strode quickly out of the auditorium, ignoring the glares he was garnering, and didn't stop until he was completely outside of the building, out in the fresh air again, and blessedly alone. He leaned against the wall of the building, staring up at the starry night sky. Rafariel had gotten under his skin, almost too deep. He was entranced. He wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it quickly... but ah, where was the fun in that? Maybe he was in too deep, but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying himself. He was still in control, and that was the important thing.
He pushed himself off from the wall and followed the edge of the building around, until he found what he hoped to find towards the back -- an open door. A couple of school children were hovering around it, passing a cigarette between them. They dropped it as they saw him approaching, and their eyes felt hostile, suspicious, to him. He smirked. He remembered what school children were like, thinking their world was everything. They hadn't been able to hurt him then, and they certainly couldn't now.
"This the backstage entrance?" he asked pleasantly, and after a moment, one of them nodded.
"Ta," he said, and walked straight in, ignoring them.
The backstage area was broad, wide, and full of milling groups of teenagers in various stages of undress, with various musical instruments laid out all over the place. He searched the room, ignoring the fact that almost all activity had stopped and all eyes seemed focused on him. At last, he spotted what he was looking for -- Rafariel, nervously standing in a corner, pawing through the contents of his bag.
Kael strode across the room, ignoring the stares. Well, he hadn't exactly dressed appropriately, he had to admit, but he didn't really own anything appropriate anyway, so...
He reached the fidgeting boy in the corner, the only one who hadn't noticed him.
"Rafariel," he said, and the boy jumped a mile. He looked up, and then his eyes widened, and Kael saw something that might have been relief in them. They skittered away, skirting around the room, and then came back to rest on his face again.
"I.. what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you play, remember?" he said easily, and Rafariel's cheeks tinged pink.
"I know, but..." Rafariel hesitated, his fingers wringing together.
"So, do you have anything else you need to do, or can you leave?"
Rafariel blinked up at him again, and this time he was certain it was relief.
"I can leave."
"Then let's go." Kael turned and strode back across the room, and a moment later, Rafariel's footsteps came tripping after him.
Once they were outside, he slowed down, letting the boy catch up with him. He directed their path toward the front of the building, but kept their pace languid.
"Here, let me carry that," he reached out and took the violin case that was banging awkwardly against Rafariel's legs.
"I.. thanks." Rafariel let go of the case, and resettled his bag about his shoulders. "And.. thanks for saving me.. I'd almost run out of excuses to fumble around in my bag." His voice was dry, self-mocking.
Kael was silent for a moment. It wasn't like Rafariel to admit something so personal to him.. but maybe Rafariel was finally coming around to his way of thinking. It was worth pursuing.
"You don't get along with them," he said. It was part statement, part question.
"No. They.. well, they think I'm strange. Maybe I am strange."
"Are you?"
"I don't know. I don't understand them. They just care about.. girls.. and cricket.. television.. and rebelling against their parents in the most childish of ways."
"And you're above all that?"
"Not.. above it.. I just.. maybe I grew up too fast. I feel so... old... compared to them."
Kael thought about this. And about what he knew of Rafariel.
"Or maybe you've just learned to take responsibility for yourself. Something some of them may never learn, even if they grow up."
Rafariel seemed to consider this.
"Maybe..." He hesitated. "So that makes me not so much strange, as just.. different?"
"Considering how few people take responsibility for themselves, yes, I'd say you're different."
Rafariel quirked his lips.
"But different isn't strange."
"No, it's not. Why do you care what they think, anyway?"
"That's easy for you to say, when you don't have to face them every day."
"I've been there." They'd reached the front of the building, and Kael stopped walking.
Rafariel stopped as well, turning to look up at him, his expression curious.
"Maybe you were stronger than I am, then."
Kael felt his lips curling into a sardonic smile.
"No, just angrier and more aggressive."
Rafariel blinked at him, and then laughed, softly.
"I can't imagine that."
"Be glad you don't have to."
Rafariel smiled at him, and it was a friendly smile, something so sweet it was almost painful to look at. Sometimes it overwhelmed him how young, how naive this boy really was once you peeled back all his layers of self-defence and self-doubt. And how easy it was to see how Rafariel really wanted to trust people, wanted to believe in them, despite all the wrongs that had been done him in his life that made him so wary. Sometimes it made Kael feel almost wretched for the way he was reeling the boy in.
He shook off the feeling and smiled back at the boy. It didn't matter if what he was doing was wrong; the boy was going to be so damn sweet to taste that it would be worth it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Kael was sprawled along the length of the front porch swing seat, fighting teeming hordes of monsters on Raziel's PSP, when he spotted out of the corner of his eye the familiar figure of Rafariel in the distance, plodding homewards from school in his ugly blue and white school uniform. It was the only set of clothing Rafariel owned that lacked any taste, and yet the poor boy was forced to wear it five days a week. Kael felt sorry for him.
He discreetly paused his game as Rafariel made his way up the sidewalk, and looked up as the boy reached the top of the porch stairs.
Rafariel looked back at him and smiled, openly.
Kael abandoned all pretence at playing the PSP and stared at Rafariel.
"So... what has gone so monstrously topsy-turvy in your life that you're willingly smiling at me without provocation?" he asked, and Rafariel's smile turned into more of a grin.
"Half of my school's talking about you."
"Oh really?" So wearing those particular leather pants had been a good idea after all.
"The girls all think you're gorgeous. Half the guys think you're gay. But most everyone seems to agree that you meet the criteria of 'cool'."
"Well, it's nice to know your schoolmates can agree on something. What did you tell them?"
Rafariel's expression turned impish, an expression Kael had never seen on him, but which oddly seemed to suit.
"They asked me how I knew you. I said we lived together. I didn't divulge details." His grin widened. "Now they're all somewhat in awe and I seem to have obtained some sort of 'cool' status by proxy."
Kael laughed. It never failed to amuse him just how stupid school children could be when they put their minds to it.
"I'm sure that must be fun for you -- being cool by virtue of knowing me."
Rafariel laughed, and shook his head.
"I can deal." Then the laughter faded, and his expression turned serious.
"I know it was inadvertent, but... thank you." The words sounded awkward, as if he wasn't used to using them.
"What for?"
"For making my school life somewhat more bearable." Rafariel looked away. It was obviously not an easy admission for him to make.. yet he'd made it.
"Ahh." Kael almost didn't know what to say. There was something so vulnerable about the boy in that moment, something that made him feel absurdly protective. He shook the feeling off.
"I'm always happy to be of service," he said aloud, sketching a somewhat awkward mock-bow, which only half worked in his sprawled position. But it earned him a laugh anyhow.
"I.. appreciate it." Rafariel looked at him a moment longer, and then turned and hurried into the house.
Kael leaned back in the seat and picked up the PSP again. Things were going exactly according to plan.. even if some of it had been completely unplanned.