Waited So Long
Warning: This fic contains sexual content. Do not read if you're not interested!!
"Kham...?" Hanael paused in the doorway, his question forgotten, struck silent by the picture presented to him.
Khamuel was sitting upside down on the sofa; his legs stretched upwards along the seat back, feet sticking out over the top and wiggling idly, while his head hung off the seat bottom, hair streaming in long wild waves down to the floor. He held his PSP above his head, fingers clicking fast and furiously on the buttons, seemingly oblivious to Hanael's presence.
"What is it?" Apparently not completely oblivious though. Hanael shook himself. The sight of Khamuel in that position was somehow so adorably cute that it had struck him speechless; but he knew if he ever voiced that thought aloud, Khamuel would never assume the position ever again.
"Kash and I were thinking of going to the beach... not to swim, but Raziel said there's this really good fish and chips place, we thought we'd buy food and eat it on the waterfront... I know you won't eat the food, but I still thought maybe you'd like to come?"
Khamuel paused the game finally, and the tinny music and sound effects stopped, leaving the room almost silent. He turned his head towards Hanael, and even on an angle, the amusement on his face was obvious.
"Did you just invite a vampire to the beach?" he asked drolly.
Hanael started laughing.
"I guess that's a no."
"It's a no." Khamuel grinned at him, and then turned his attention back to his game. "Have fun, though."
"We will." Hanael looked at him a moment longer, just appreciating the sight of him once again, and then he turned and headed out the door, out to where Kashael was getting the car out of the garage.
They each chose one of the daily fish specials, and then they headed over to the beach, until they found a broad flight of concrete stairs leading down to the sand. They perched themselves side by side on the top stair, and began to eat.
It was late afternoon, the sun setting slowly behind them, casting their shadows long and black against the pale sand at their feet, and giving the ocean spread out before them a golden edge. It was too early in the summer for early evening swimmers, and so the beach was blessedly quiet, the scene before them only broken by the occasional jogger, person out walking their dog, or couple strolling romantically, hand in hand.
Hanael speared another portion of fish with his fork. Raziel had been right about the quality of the food, and the delicious fish warmed him inside; that, and the beautiful scenery before them, and the quiet presence of his brother beside him.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kashael's legs stretching out.
"This kind of reminds me of Hawaii somehow."
Hanael paused, his fork halfway to his mouth, and considered the view. Although the beach was quite different, as well as the surrounding land, he had to admit that there was an overall vibe to the scene that reminded him of when he'd been in Hawaii.
Then he remembered that he'd been there alone. He turned to look at his brother, but Kashael was looking wistfully out over the ocean, munching idly on a chip.
"When were you in Hawaii?"
Kash's eyes moved to meet his, and he saw amusement in them.
"Around about the same time you were."
Hanael hesitated, not sure what to make of that. Kash grinned at him.
"Remember when I said I'd been trying to find you all these long years? I wasn't kidding."
Hanael thought about that for a long moment, and the true enormity of it struck him. He found himself staring, wide-eyed, at Kashael.
"You mean... everywhere I've been...."
"I've been on your heels."
"Every single place..." He barely knew what to think.
Kashael smirked, and shrugged his shoulders.
"There's a few I missed. Sometimes I gave up in frustration, and resolved to put you out of my mind... and it'd work, for a couple of years." He looked away, out over the sprawl of sand grasses that spread out next to them. "But I never could block out that little blip on my radar that was you, running away from yourself again and again and again..."
There was a sharp 'crack', and Hanael looked down in surprise. He'd gripped the plastic fork that he was holding so tightly that it had snapped between his fingers.
"Here." Kashael handed him his own fork with a smile.
Hanael put down the broken fork, and his dinner, without really thinking about it.
"It's okay." Kashael proffered the fork again. "I always get spares; I break them all the time."
"I don't mean the damn fork," he said, unexpectedly annoyed, and Kashael blinked at him in surprise. He looked away in embarrassment, his gaze catching on the dark spread of trees that were growing near the water's edge, and the shadows already lurking within them.
"I'm...." He sighed, and he felt his shoulders slumping, felt the full weight of the meaning behind Kash's words settling on his back. "I'm sorry."
"I..." Hanael wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He didn't feel cold like normal humans, but sometimes, he felt cold in a different way. "All this time... I've been blaming you for not coming back to me... and all this time... it was my fault that you couldn't."
There was silence, but for the cry of a seagull flying overhead. Hanael stared at the golden-tipped clouds on the horizon, and wondered what his life might have been like if he had stayed put long enough for Kashael to have found him.
He heard the sounds of his brother shifting behind him, and then all at once long, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, mimicking the way he was hugging himself, Kash's broad hands settling over his own.
He jumped a little in surprise, but as Kash's back pressed close against his as well, and he felt the weight of his brother's head leaning against his, he relaxed, just a little, into the embrace.
"Hanael..." Kashael's voice purred in his ear, and Hanael closed his eye. He wondered if he would ever get used to this, or whether he would continue to feel a thrill of delight, and of contentedness, every time Kashael held him close and whispered in his ear, just as he'd done when he was a child.
"If you hadn't run all over the world... I would never have seen all the places I've seen, met all the people I've met..."
Hanael opened his eye again in surprise.
"...and then still had the final pleasure of being able to hold you in my arms again at the end of it all."
Hanael shivered. His brother's voice was caramel-sugar-sweet in his ear, his breath warm and almost sticky against his skin, and his arms more supporting, more reassuring, than he'd ever imagined they could be. As a child, Kash's embrace had been his only haven, the one place where he felt completely safe and content, and it was still a surprise to realise that time, distance, and age had not changed that in the slightest.
He turned his head slowly, to find Kash staring at him, his sea-green eyes intent, murky in the encroaching evening darkness, and yet overwhelming in the obvious desire for him reflected in them. Facing that gaze, he felt weak, frozen, like a deer caught in headlights, and when his brother's wide, smirking lips pressed against his, he submitted, feeling grateful all over again that Kash had found him at last.
His brother's mouth was incredibly warm, and still spicy from the fish, and oh so intense as it seemed almost determined to consume him. Kash's tongue slipped artfully into his mouth, toying and teasing with his, leaving him light-headed, and he wondered if it would be such a bad thing if his brother really did swallow him whole.
Warm fingers wiggled their way under his shirt, and he gasped, breaking apart from his brother.
"Kash...!" He glanced around surreptitiously, but the sun had set fully now, and there was no-one else in sight.
"What? It's dark, no-one can see..." Kashael nuzzled against his ear and Hanael closed his eye again for a moment as Kash's teeth nibbled on his earlobe.
"Kash, please..." he murmured, wanting to protest, not wanting to do things like this where someone might see, and yet weak against his brother's wiles.
"...you didn't learn that prudishness from me." His brother's voice was mocking, and then abruptly, he found himself being yanked to his feet.
"What?" He opened his eye, but Kash was already dragging him along the beachfront, and he stumbled and hurried to keep up with his brother's long, determined strides.
"Shhh." Kash didn't look back, but kept pulling him forwards. He sighed, and followed without question, his brain still muddled from the intensity of the kiss, from the confusion of his feelings.
Within moments they were amidst the grove of trees, and Kash pulled them deeper inside, until they were so lost in the shadows that Hanael could barely see his brother ahead of him.
His brother stopped finally, so suddenly that Hanael ploughed right into him. Before he could right himself properly, Kash let go of his hand and grabbed ahold of his shoulders instead. Then he pushed him up against the nearest tree.
"Kash, damnit!" That was all he got to say, for a moment later, Kashael's lips were possessing his all over again, and this time his brother's whole body was pressed up against him as well, pinning him in place.
The bark of the tree was rough against his back, almost painful behind his head, and yet the taste of Kash's lips, so warm and determined and powerful on his, and the feel of his brother's body, so close to his own, more than made up for it. One of Kashael's hands twined itself in his hair, fingers thick and strong against his scalp, and the other wrapped around his waist, sliding under his shirt.
It was dark now; he knew that. It was dark, and no-one could see them, here deep between the trees. And what no-one could see, no-one would know.
Hanael raised his arms, and hugged his brother's back, and his wide shoulders, the broad shoulders that had always carried him, had always protected him. He slid one hand down slowly, finding the narrow waist that he'd always clung to in times of need. And he clung to it now, pulling it closer to him, wanting nothing to come between them.
Kashael's hand slipped into the waistband of his pants, and he gasped, breaking the kiss, his head falling back against the tree hard enough to hurt, and not caring a whit. Caring only for the warm hand wrapped so surely around him, caressing him in ways he had never dreamed that it would.
"Hanael..." Kashael's voice was deep and throaty in his ear, his brother's lips caressing his earlobe just as his fingers caressed his cock.
"Kash, please..." He could hear the need in his voice, the whine, but he didn't care. His whole body was trembling, weak under his brother's touch, yet his hands found their way to the front of Kash's pants, fumbling with the belt.
His brother laughed softly in his ear, and even that was warm, sticky, and a turn-on. Kash's fingers let go of his cock, and he whimpered, but a moment later they brushed his hands away, and he heard Kash unbuckling his own belt, and then the sound of the fly being undone. His trembling increased; his knees felt weak.
Kash's fingers fumbled with Hanael's belt this time, and then he felt his pants being yanked down. Somehow he knew, distantly, that he should feel ashamed, to be bared like this in a public place... and yet, it seemed to matter so little right now.
"Hanael..." Kash's voice in his ear was breathy now, with satisfaction, with anticipation. His body moved forward again, pressing against Hanael's, and Hanael whimpered a little, wrapping his arms around his brother, wanting to pull them so close that nothing would ever break them apart again.
Kashael pressed deep inside him, hard and warm and somehow so damned fulfilling, in a way that shouldn't have been right and yet was. As his brother drove into him, Hanael's cock rubbed against the bare warmth of his stomach, and he whimpered again at the double pleasure.
Kashael's arms hooked around his shoulders, and Kashael smushed their mouths together, determined and desperate even as his cock drove into Hanael again and again, thrusting hard and fast and deep. It was too good, it was too much, it was all he ever wanted or needed, and Hanael knew he was past breaking point.
He broke the kiss, burying his face in his brother's shoulder.
"Kash, Kash... you..." He wanted to say more, wanted to say something, but he didn't know what, and then it was all gone in a flash of ecstasy and pleasure and damp warmth somewhere between them.
Kash grunted, and then drove deeper into him than before, and Hanael cried out softly; the pleasure was almost too much for him to take. Then Kashael was muttering something incoherent in his ear, and slamming into him again, and he felt warmth deep inside him as well.
He clung to his brother, and Kash half collapsed against him, pressing him almost painfully against the tree. Yet he didn't care, so long as Kash was there.
"Hanael..." Kashael was murmuring in his ear, his voice still indistinct.
"I've waited so long for you... I could do that to you hourly and still never feel sated..." The words were somehow both alluring and threatening all at once.
Hanael pulled back a little, wanting to see the expression that went with those words... but in the darkness, it was hard to make out Kash's face at all. They stared at each other a long moment, and then Kashael nuzzled against his neck, and Hanael shivered against the warmth of his breath.
Sense was starting to come back to him, and he felt more than a little foolish, there amidst the trees, out in the open, with his pants yanked down and cum drying on his shirt. Only Kash could drive him to that sort of crazy, weak-kneed desperation. He didn't truly understand it... but he felt more than a little guilty for it sometimes.
So, he temporized.
"I think Khamuel might have something to say about that..."
He could never, ever let them forget the importance of the vampire in their lives.
Kashael snorted softly against his neck, and then his lips moved up towards Hanael's ear.
"Well, if he hasn't the stamina to keep up, that's not my problem..."
Hanael laughed, and he felt himself relax a little.
"More likely, you'll drive him to competitiveness, and I'll not have the stamina for it..."
Kashael's lips tickled his neck.
"That's okay, you only need to lie there..."
He laughed again. And then, because he felt more calm now, less desperate, he reached down and pulled his pants up again, trying to restore at least some of his dignity. Kash gave him a little space, leaning against the tree next to him, and he heard the sound of his brother's fly being done up, and the clang of his belt buckle.
"...I suppose you mean to tell him? About this?"
Hanael paused in the act of buckling up his own jeans. There was nothing more than mild curiosity in Kash's voice, and yet, he wondered what his brother was thinking.
"Yes," he said, and looked up. It was still too dark to read Kash's expression, and he cursed silently. "And if he and I sneak off somewhere and have sex without you, I'll tell you about it, too."
Kash was silent. Hanael finished buckling his jeans, and adjusted his shirt, hoping it wasn't too unsightly for the short walk back to the car.
"I won't let secrets or lies come between us," he said softly.
And still, Kash was silent.
"Please, Kash..." he said, looking up, wishing he could read his brother's expression.
Abruptly, he saw the flash of teeth that meant Kash was grinning.
"And if he and I sneak off somewhere and have sex without you?"
Hanael's jaw dropped; for a moment, he was too flabbergasted by the very concept to know what to say. Then he heard Kash's soft laughter, and found himself joining in.
"Then you two had better tell me about it, too, or there'll be trouble!"
Kash continued to laugh. Feeling like they were on safe ground again, Hanael pushed himself away from the tree, ready to suggest that they head home.
Kashael's arm wrapped around his neck again, bringing their faces close all of a sudden, and Hanael gasped slightly, swallowing the last of his laughter.
"I will never, ever give you up..." Kashael's voice was low and throaty. Hanael remembered, only weeks ago, when Khamuel had said the exact same words to him. Somehow, Kashael made it sound more like a threat than Khamuel ever had, and yet, he was just as grateful for the words now as he had been then.
"I would never let you..." he replied softly, and knew that he meant it just as much as he had when he'd said it to Khamuel.
Deep inside, he knew what a crazy, precarious position the three of them were in, and knew that maybe he was wanting too much, asking for too much, believing that he could have too much if he thought that he could hold onto both of them at once, and make them both happy. And yet, he knew that he could never let either of them walk out of his life. He would make this work. Keep on making this work. Somehow. Because all his long, lonely life, he'd been waiting to find the happiness that he felt when both of them were by his side.